I've had time to think and reflect about the process for my son to receive long term care and I realized that the entire process and even the day of the interview was upsetting to me. Aside from the stress it caused, I felt like I was on the verge of tears or on the verge of having a nervous break down every time I thought, mentioned, or discussed the process with anyone. During the process itself, I believed it was just because I was so stressed and scared about my son not continuing to receive the therapies he was received but looking back I realized it was more than that.
As a parent one of the joys we have is sharing with other about the accomplishments of our children. We boast about how well they are doing in school, how they are excelling at sports or other extracurricular activities. Our Facebook pages include pictures and video clips of all the wonderful things are children are doing and rightly so. We as parents are proud of all the things they can do - from the first time they roll over or sit up or take their first step, its all captured on video and proudly displayed to all.
The long term care interview is exactly the opposite. Instead of focusing on my son's accomplishments, I was asked to highlight all the things he could not do that other children his age could. I was asked to point out and identify how and where he lagged behind in milestones. As a mom, this is simply heartbreaking. I have and had been striving for the past 3 years to focus on what my son could do and what he had accomplished, not what he didn't. Isn't that the point of his having the various therapies - so that he can get all the help he needs to do the best he can to keep up with other little boys and girls his age?
Just as I did for my daughter, I cheered and marveled as he learned to roll over from his tummy to his back, as he learned to crawl and take his first steps. Sure, he may have done it several months or more later than when his sister learned to crawl or took her first steps but it was wonderful to experience just the same and no less exciting. But the long term care questions did not relish the fact that my son could do all these things, instead it was more of a penalty that he was not so far behind his peers!
So, I prayed and hoped that my son would have a bad day on the day of the interview and asked my friends and family to do the same. Because if he had a bad day, then the interviewer would not see what my son could do when he set his mind to something but rather someone else. I remember thinking was I a bad mother to be hoping for a bad day for my son? But, I honestly did not want my son to decide that day to show off and all of a sudden jump with his feet off the ground or walk a straight line because the interviewer would never believe that he really truly could not do that and this was his first time and they just might make the difference in whether or not he qualified for long term care.
Really, a mom or parent/guardian should never have to be in this position but because of the way they determine the qualifications for long term care we had no choice. I needed to present the best picture of a reverse resume of my son's abilities to the interviewer. Despite my normal inclinations or tendencies I had to remember to hold back on sharing what my son had already accomplished and what he was working on so there was no misinterpretation. It's a process that I did not enjoy and thankfully won't have to repeat for a couple of years.
No comments:
Post a Comment